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TV commercials that make you go hmm ...

We've discussed song lyrics that just don't make any sense, but what about commercials that are equally confusing?

A good commercial is like a mini-movie, with characters, a plot and a storyline that at least makes a tiny bit of sense. But some commercials are like a really terrible B-movie that only runs late at night in between infomercials. In other words, they are completely insane.

What? Don't you often sit outside in a bathtub next to your spouse?


We have to start with Cialis. Yes, we've discussed ads that really should be adults-only already, but the product's purpose aside, what is up with the couple sitting outside in separate bathtubs? Are they at their home? Do they regularly bathe outside at the same time in matching claw-foot tubs? Are they at some kind of weird B&B where instead of relaxing in the sun on a lounge chair, everyone gets their own clawfoot tub? Or did the ad-campaign manager just stare at a blank page and decide there was no way to explain what this product does without getting graphic, finally throwing up his hands and saying "just stick them in tubs, then! They're naked, but not touching!"

Another ad series that brings up a bunch of questions for me is the Free Credit Report campaign. Yes, we've discussed in the past how it isn't free, for one thing. But start dissecting the plots of the ads and you'll get completely lost. First off, the guy marries his dream girl because he doesn't know that her credit was bad, and now they're living in the basement with her parents. So what are we to draw from that? First off, how much was she really his "dream girl" if her credit was enough to drive him away? Secondly, why is it her fault that they're living in her parents' basement, where if he himself had decent credit and some savings, they could've gotten a house on his credit alone? And also, he claims that they'd be "living in a pleasant suburb," whereas this band-belonging hipster does not seem like someone who would aspire to suburbia.

I've harped on the Glade -- sorry, GLAH-DAY -- ads before, but they're just so ... odd. Can anyone explain to me why you would need to lie that your candles are from France? Because if that actually impresses people, then I don't want to know those people.

If you think the Cialis people had trouble depicting the product's purpose, imagine the folks at Activia yogurt. They are apparently trying to promote a yogurt that, uh, helps you go to the bathroom. (In their words, helps you "regulate your digestive system.") So first they haul out Jamie Lee Curtis and have her rub her belly, and then it gets really weird. They show a CGI stomach with a bunch of little circles running around on it. Then the circles form into a downward-facing arrow and slide out of view. In other words, hey! The product worked! In other other words, yuck! I'm also weirdly fascinated that JLC claims "87%" of people in America suffer from "occasional" irregularity. So 13% are never, ever, constipated? Who did this survey, and how can I make sure I never have that job?

Share your thoughts on nonsensical happenings in commercials in the comments.