The Boston story is shake-your-head unbelievable, at least if you don't live in and around Boston, and weren't inconvenienced by the shutdown of highways and bridges caused by "nine suspicious electronic devices" today. And especially if you're a fan of Cartoon Network's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force."
As you've no doubt heard by now, the devices turned out to be not dirty bombs, but rather large Lite-Brite style renditions of the Mooninites Ignignokt and Err, the mouthy little aliens who often show up and try and push the Aqua Teens around, in hilariously inept ways. They once convinced little Meatwad to try and steal a DVD rack from a local electronics store, often brag about their excellent vertical leaping abilities (they can't really jump very high at all), and shoot a Quad-Glacier gun that takes forever to reach its target and doesn't really hurt anyone.
And somehow those little aliens managed to shut down the great city of Boston? Somewhere up in the Moon, Err and Ignignokt are jumping around in complete triumph and spray-painting "THE MOON RULZ" on neighbor Carl's muscle car.
|Scowly little Mooninite Err flips off the city of Brookline, Mass.|
It's obvious to any "Aqua Teens" fan that these are Mooninite replicas, once you're faced with a clear photo (at press time, one is here). Apparently they were placed as part of a "10-city outdoor marketing campaign" by Turner Broadcasting to promote the "ATHF" upcoming movie. (Did you know there was an Aqua Teens movie? And that it is described as an "action epic"? And that it features a flaming chicken? Number one in the 'hood, G!)
If an Aqua Teen fan had been on the Boston police force, could he or she have recognized the Mooninites and stopped the insanity sooner? Maybe, but maybe not. Because how dumb is it of Turner Broadcasting if they did in fact place these at bridges and subway stations in this post-911 era? We can't even take more than 3 ounces of Mr. Bubble on a plane, how did they assume some funky-looking electronic devices left in prominent spots in the city would pass unnoticed? (Although most of them apparently did, in the 9 other cities where this marketing scheme was supposedly tried.)
In the "Aqua Teens" episode where Err and Ignignokt try and shoot their Quad-Glacier gun at Carl, they fire the weapon, then discover why it's called the Quad-Glacier: The ammo moves at glacial speed, crawling towards its intended victim, who has plenty of time to move out of the way.
"The explosion shall be of extraordinary magnitude," taunts Ignignokt. "Just hang on!"
"It takes a while," chimes in Err.
Apparently, not as long as they think.
AQUA TEEN LINKS:
- Mooninite random quote generator
- Which Aqua Teen are you?
- Watch the "Aqua Teen" movie trailer, which features a flaming chicken
UPDATE: It's been pretty hilarious to read the national media coverage of this, especially watching reporters who obviously have never heard of "Aqua Teens" try to describe it. They try so hard to be formal, to be precise, to follow AP style, even with the most ridiculous content. The resulting language makes it sound like no one in the mass media even owns a TV.
Here are some of my favorite clunky phrases, and if you spot another one, send it in.
Describing the Mooninites:
"Trouble-making characters that look like 1980s-era computer graphics." (Associated Press/MSNBC.com)
"Outer-space delinquents who make frequent appearances on the cartoon." (CNN.com)
"Boxy characters ... named Err and Ignignokt ... Err is described on the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" website as "rebellious and angry." (Boston.com)
"Two trouble-making, 1980s-graphic-like characters called ''mooninites,'' named Ignignokt and Err" (New York Times)
Describing the show:
"The show follows the misadventures of a carton of French fries, a milkshake and a wad of hamburger meat who live together in a run-down suburban house." (Associated Press/MSNBC.com)
"The show is an animated comedy about three detectives in the shape of human-sized food products that live together in a rental house in New Jersey." (Fox News)
[Editor's Note: They are detectives in the credits, but that's about it...]
"A surreal series about a talking milkshake, a box of fries and a meatball." Also: "a cartoon with a cultish following" (New York Times)